This is more common in parents with serious manipulative personality/mental disorders, such as Borderline Personality Disorder.
This can be damaging, since having a controlling parent can also prevent you from learning necessary skills for adulthood. When it comes to being an adult, you may feel insecure or lost.
For example, you may have requested that she respect your privacy, only to discover that she has been reading your journal entries or snooping on your social media. This is more common in mother-daughter relationships, where mothers infringe on their daughters’ privacy because they are both women. If these issues persist into adulthood, it is critical to recognize them and inform your parents that you will not tolerate this type of behavior. If it’s constantly bothering you, it might be time to limit the amount of communication you allow from that parent since this can be damaging in the long run. [5] X Research source
If your mother minimizes or dismisses your achievements, you may be in a destructive relationship with her. You might discover that no matter what you do, you’ll never truly feel as if you’ve earned your mother’s approval.
When setting boundaries, do your best to recognize your self-worth as important and get clear on what you need and what is important to you. Figure out what behaviors you will no longer tolerate—if necessary, talk to a therapist about this so you can learn to better stand up for yourself. State it clearly and matter of fact, without hesitation or defensiveness. Remember that boundaries are not negotiable, and a toxic parent will do whatever it takes to win the negotiation. You have to be clear, direct and firm. And decide on what the consequences will be for violating those boundaries.
Remember that familiarity breeds contempt, so a little distance works wonders. It will not only give you some peace, but it will also give you time to decide and think about how you want to handle the relationship in the future.
If your mother agrees to work on herself, family therapy is a great idea. Family therapy is a type of psychological counseling (psychotherapy) that can assist family members in improving communication and conflict resolution. A psychologist, clinical social worker, or licensed therapist is usually in charge of family therapy. [14] X Trustworthy Source Mayo Clinic Educational website from one of the world’s leading hospitals Go to source
