Make sure your answers are short, polite, and to the point. Be prepared to segue the answer into another topic. Stay positive. For example, you might say “No, we’re not together anymore. It was for the best. But I’ve started this new (school, job, etc. ) and that’s going really well. " Or, you can say casual and polite like “_____ is a great guy, but it was just the wrong time for me. I wish him the best. "
Talk to a long-term friend you knew before the relationship, but don’t allow venting to consume your time together[1] X Research source Talk to your family members, such as a parent or sibling Talk to a therapist, especially if you’re having a particularly hard time adjusting to being single
Don’t speak negatively about your ex, particularly in front of friends that were his/her’s first. Try to stay positive about your ex in a way that is polite but not suggesting that you want to be together. Don’t take it personally if these people seem less interested in you after the breakup. Sure, it’s hard on you, but it’s hard for them to navigate this awkward phase, too. They may choose to keep things simple and maintain the relationship with your ex rather than you.
Remember, if you want to vent, do so with people who only have a relationship with you to minimize the backlash. There’s a high chance mutual contacts will carry gossip back to your ex.
Fresh breakups have baggage. You may have unanswered questions as to why the relationship ended. You may have second thoughts and secretly dream of getting back together with your ex. You might just be hoping for one last hookup before you “move on. ” You might want to scream a long list of expletives in your ex’s face. None of these are appropriate to hash out in a social setting. If you haven’t completely dealt with your emotions surrounding the breakup, decline an invite to a gathering you think he or she may attend. Or, at the very least, keep a wide distance from your ex to avoid any contact.
If you bump into your ex, be polite. Smile and say “Hi, there, ____. Good to see you. I was just heading to top off my drink. Hope you have a nice night. ”. If your ex tries to corner you into a more personal conversation, insist that the two of your talk another time. If he or she is pushy, be more firm. Say, “It was nice seeing you, but I really didn’t come here for this. If you would like to talk to me alone, you can give me a call or we can choose a time to meet. Have a nice night. ” Afterwards, find the host and thank him or her for the invitation and a lovely time. Leave without any further exchange with your ex.
Never purposely be rude to your ex’s new date. Such behavior is unnecessary and childish. This person has nothing to do with what happened during the relationship and doesn’t deserve to be mistreated or gossiped about.
Your friends have been great since the breakup, listening to you vent and consoling you. Pay them back in kind by having a good time without your past relationship putting a damper on the night. [6] X Research source
You talk about the breakup too much. Consider that your friends will likely tire of hearing a play-by-play of your relationship woes. Aim to spend quality time with them engaging in fun activities, not just venting. [9] X Research source You ask for advice and then do the opposite. It’s slightly offensive to ask your friends for their heartfelt advice and constantly not follow it. Ask yourself if you truly want advice. Or, would you rather just have a sounding board, or even better, someone to take your mind off your breakup.
Never let your relationship status keep you away from making plans with your friends or just being social, in general. Remember, they are inviting you because they want to share the experience with you. Never determine if you will attend a function based on your ex’s attendance.
Instead have a good friend (or several friends) accompany you to social gatherings. Make sure they know what’s going on so they can steer you away from your ex if you’re not ready to face him/her. Also, they can help you redirect conversations when the topic turns to your relationship status.
