Codependent parents, for example, may have a hard time letting go of parenting and providing for their adult children, or they rely on their grown children to help them in unhealthy ways, reversing the parent-child dynamic. Pulling away from either dynamic is a positive move toward establishing healthy personal boundaries. It does not mean that you’re a “bad” son or daughter, even if the parent claims that this is the case. [2] X Research source
Be aware that doing this work will destabilize the relationship and make things harder before it makes them better. Imagine you and the person with whom you have a codependent relationship are roped together and standing on ladders next to one another. As things are now, you are stabilized–on the same rungs on your ladders and the rope around you both is taut. You understand the unspoken rules of how you interact. Now, when you begin to get healthy, begin moving up your ladder, the other person in the relationship will feel the pull of the rope and try to pull you back down, may even move down her / his ladder a rung or two to get you to move back to where things were. This is normal. Continue your work to grow, mature, and become healthier. The rope can stretch. [4] X Research source
