Consider writing a draft of your message, and sleeping on it, before sending it.
“I’m sorry I wasn’t supportive enough. You needed me and I let you down. " “I apologize for what I said. I wasn’t thinking, and I said terrible things that I didn’t mean at all. I should never have let my temper get the best of me, and I know I hurt you. "
“I suppose we just kind of drifted apart, which happens sometimes and wasn’t really anyone’s fault. " “I was overwhelmed because of my own problems, and this clouded my judgment. " “I was under the mistaken impression that you’d hurt me on purpose. It wasn’t until later that I realized I was wrong. " “I was so angry I couldn’t think straight. I needed time to cool down before I could think clearly again. I know that must have been hard for you. "
“I know that you may have moved on to other interests, and we may not have much in common anymore. " “I get why you’re angry, and you have reason to be. " “I know you’re sad, and I’m sorry that I upset you. " “You have every right to be mad at me. "
It’s possible that your friend has dropped off socially due to a crisis, such as a health scare or a death in the family. The last thing you want is to end up being a jerk about it. Lashing out at your friend is likely to send the message that the two of you might be better off apart.
“We had a lot of good times together, and even though we’re both different people now, I want to see if we can be close again. " “You’re so funny and charming, and when we hang out, you always brighten my day. I really miss eating lunch with you and chatting about our lives. " “I miss your funny stories and your insights that made me see the world differently. We had so much fun going to the mall, talking about our favorite shows, and just hanging out together. "
“I really value your friendship. I know I may have lost it as a result of my actions. If you’d like to be my friend again, please let me know. If you think we should go our separate ways, tell me and I’ll respect your decision. "
Waiting can be hard. Recognize that your friend may be working through a lot, and find other relationships to spend time on as you wait.
If they’ve read it and made a decision, they may let you know then. If they haven’t read it, then they may go back and read it, and then respond.
Asking once or twice is plenty. They know how you feel, and if they want to be friends again, they’ll come to you.
