Ask nicely, but make your point. Ask for exactly what you want instead of being vague and keeping them guessing. It’s not fair to expect them to be able to read your mind and know your limits – you need to tell them what you want. Be willing to compromise. While you might be happy to never again have to hear the teenage son practicing tuba, it’s probably not practical to ask your neighbors to soundproof their garage. Use a complaint that they’ll be more sympathetic to, such as the noise keeping you up after your bedtime. You’ll have more success if you approach the neighbors with a problem and a willingness to talk about possible solutions, instead of charging in and demanding specific behavior.
Make sure the note is friendly in tone. Tell your neighbor that you’d like to find a solution that works for everyone. If you’re comfortable putting your phone number in the note and encouraging your neighbor to call you, do so. That way if your neighbor has any questions you can get them cleared up right away.
Remember that what’s most annoying for you isn’t necessarily the easiest for them to change. If they’ve explained that the problem is difficult to fix, consider asking for something easier instead.
Even if the problem isn’t something you can fix yourself, helping out can give the neighbors time or inclination to respond to your request. For example, if the neighbors can’t fix their broken engine muffler because they use their car all day, offer to drive them between the mechanic and their workplace, or to run some errands for them while the car is being repaired. Don’t offer to give money or hire someone. Many people bristle at the suggestion that they can’t afford to fix their own problems.
The next time something happens, stop and think about an appropriate response. If the neighbors are still playing loud music every night, it’s time for another complaint. If the neighbors have been relatively quiet for weeks and are now throwing a birthday party, put in earplugs and give them once a year to be loud. Keep lines of communication open afterward, even if it’s just a wave and a hello. If you’re a forgettable presence that shows up only when there’s a problem, your neighbors won’t be as inclined to listen to you.
This doesn’t mean you and your neighbors should storm the bad neighbors’ house or apartment – that could get out of hand and make the neighbor feel threatened. Even a group email can feel “us vs them. "
Make sure you’re not picking them out, either. If you don’t want them to play music at 3 AM, your old friends Ken and Janet next door shouldn’t be able to do the same thing.
Why not invite your neighbors over for a meal? Ask them to come over when you’re having a summer cookout, or invite them for pancakes on a Saturday morning. Get to know each other before you make any requests. If inviting them into your space is a bit much, you could take over a bottle of wine or some home-baked cookies and introduce yourself.
You may wish to inform your neighbors that you’re doing this. When they know you’re hard on their trail, that may be the motivation they need to quit pulling those stunts.
Use your best judgement on this one based on previous interactions with the landlord; some landlords hate having to deal with their tenants’ disputes, and may get irritated at you for calling.
Trespassing Property destruction Noise violations Barking laws Laws regarding property maintenance
If the issue is loud music, call the non-emergency police number. For unkempt yards, call the Homeowners Association (where applicable) or the city nuisance abatement officer. Most cities have nuisance abatement, or code enforcement officers, who are responsible for maintaining code compliance.
If nothing else, you may be able to work out with your landlord to get out of your lease without breaking it illegally. If you’ve alerted him to the situation and he’s done nothing about it, it certainly doesn’t make him look good, so he may let you go – especially if you’re going to get a lawyer involved. Consider this compromise instead of getting dragged into hours of court time and court fees that even you probably don’t want to deal with.
