Take your breaths from your belly, not your chest. Try counting each breath. For example, inhale for four seconds, then exhale for four seconds.
Ignoring these comments is easier said than done and it might take some practice. Repeat to yourself, “This person’s words and opinions don’t have to change how I feel about myself. ”
For example, say, “I don’t know why you would call me ugly. Your opinion of how I look doesn’t change who I am. ” You can also say, “You are not the judge of what is beautiful. I see myself as beautiful because I know I am a loving and kind person. ”
For example, say, “Yes, I do have a big nose. How astute of you to notice. ” You can also say, “Looks aren’t everything. But yes, I do have hairy arms. ”
Exaggerate the comment by adding to it. For example, say, “I guess I am pretty ugly. I’ll probably have a swan-like transformation any day now!”
If someone calls you ugly, remind yourself that your opinion matters more than theirs, and they cannot make you feel ugly.
Make a list of the things that you enjoy about your body and remind yourself of these things when you feel low. You can also include the things you enjoy doing with your body. For example, “I like that my body is athletic and I’m a good dancer. ”
For example, say to yourself, “I am not perfect in who I am or what I look like. I can accept myself despite these imperfections. ” If one person finds you unattractive, so what? That doesn’t mean everybody sees you that way. Accept yourself as you are and remember that you can’t please everybody.
For example, say (or write down), “I am beautiful” or, “My worth is more than skin deep. ” Write on your bathroom mirror your affirmations so you see them every morning. You can use post-it notes in your favorite color or whiteboard markers!
As some people say, “Fake it ‘til you make it. ” Soon enough, you’ll find that feeling confident gets easier and easier. For example, you might hear someone sneer as you walk by. Keep your head held high and show how confident you are being you.
For example, go for a walk, take a bath, write in a journal, or listen to music. Get involved in activities you enjoy. This might be sports, martial arts, music, or cooking.
Choose a personal style that reflects who you are. Wear clothes that fit, are comfortable, and make you feel good about yourself. Being called “ugly” is different from being called “not well taken care of”. Take responsibility for your image and for things that you can change.
Adults remember being younger and may be able to give advice based on their own experiences. You might be surprised at how understanding and helpful they can be.
Even if you spend time with less ‘cool’ people, be with the people who treat you well, respect you, and don’t make you feel bad about yourself. Be with friends who see you for who you are and not just for how ‘cool’ or attractive you are. They should build you up and like the person you are, not just how you look.
Find a therapist by calling (or having your parents call) a local mental health clinic or your insurance provider. You can also get a recommendation from your physician or a friend.
