Being single also allows you to put your professional and personal goals first. Plenty of people in committed relationships wish they could pursue their own goals without having to compromise.
If you want to vent about your feelings, be honest with your trusted loved ones. It might be hard to talk about being lonely at first, but discussing it with a friend or relative can help you feel better. Take advantage of technology to stay connected with loved ones. When seeing each other face-to-face isn’t possible, talk on the phone, exchange emails, connect through social media, or schedule video chats. [3] X Trustworthy Source American Psychological Association Leading scientific and professional organization of licensed psychologists Go to source
Get some flowers or plants to liven up your house. Open the window blinds and swap heavy, dark drapes for sheer curtains. Letting more light into your home can help you feel more connected to the outside world. Try to cut down on clutter, too. A more organized home can help promote a positive mindset. [5] X Research source
Walking around your neighborhood can help you get to know more of your neighbors, and a group exercise class is a great way to meet new people. [7] X Trustworthy Source PubMed Central Journal archive from the U. S. National Institutes of Health Go to source
For example, pursue interests in cooking, gardening, or crafting. Turn your solo hobbies into social activities by joining clubs or taking classes on these topics. Look online for classes or clubs, or check related businesses or organizations for social opportunities. For instance, if you’re into gardening, see if a local garden center offers gardening classes.
Put yourself out there and treat yourself to a movie, play, or concert. These don’t only have to be “date” activities; they’re things that you can enjoy all on your own. Go on a trip to a place you’ve always wanted to visit. Best of all, you don’t have to negotiate another person or deal with their quirks, like wanting to stop at an attraction you don’t care for or not wanting to fly.
Pets can also provide opportunities to become more social. For instance, having a dog is a great conversation starter, and you’ll need to leave the house more to walk your pooch.
Feeling lonely is part of being human and, in a way, it’s sort of a good thing. Loneliness prompts people to seek connections with others, so it’s part of the foundation of all relationships.
Harsh self-criticism is usually based on distorted thinking. Stop beating yourself up, remain objective, and challenge distorted thoughts. Don’t dwell on past relationships or think of them as “failures. " Accept the fact that you can’t change the past. Instead, move on and seize opportunities to become a more fulfilled and fruitful person.
Try not to fear being rejected. If things don’t work out with a potential friend or partner, don’t assume that it’s your fault or there’s something wrong with you. Sometimes people are incompatible, have a misunderstanding, or are just in a bad mood. [14] X Research source
Challenge yourself to try new things, to talk to new people, and to engage in unfamiliar situations. If your coworkers invite you out after work, take them up on their offer. If you’re in line at the store, strike up conversation with the person next to you or with the cashier.
You could ask someone “What do you do for work,” or “Have you seen any good movies lately?” If you’re at a party, you could ask, “So how do you know the host?” While waiting for class to start, you could ask the person next to you, “How about that pop quiz yesterday? It really pulled the rug right out from under me!”
The next time you see your neighbor, you could introduce yourself and take a minute to chat. You could talk about the neighborhood, say how cute their dog is, or compliment their garden. As you become friendly, you could invite them over for coffee or tea
If you’re religious, consider joining a place of worship or participating in a meditation or prayer group.
For example, you could volunteer at a shelter if you love animals, raise awareness for a disease that affected a loved one, or canvas for a political cause close to your heart.
Interacting with others online can help you develop social skills if you’re anxious about meeting people face-to-face. Just remember to practice internet safety, and avoid sharing private information.
It’s better to be single than to rush into a relationship with someone who doesn’t have your best interests in mind. Someone will come along when you least expect it, so try to stay patient and positive.
Try to set realistic expectations, proceed slowly, and listen to your instincts. If you hit it off with someone via email or text, move on to phone conversations and schedule a date. While you don’t want to rush things, it’s important to work on building a connection with someone instead of just texting for weeks. Try not to think that someone is “the one” or that you have an instant connection with them, especially before the first date. It’s easy to idealize someone before meeting them in person, and you should allow your relationship to develop without preconceived notions.
Work on starting conversations when you’re out and about, and try to talk to both people you’re attracted to and those you’re not. To break the ice, you could mention the weather, ask for advice, or pay them a compliment. Try to develop a more confident mindset with positive self-talk. Instead of thinking, “I’m a shy person and can’t ask someone out,” say to yourself, “I’m shy sometimes, but I can get past it. ”
For instance, you might see someone at a coffee shop carrying a book by your favorite author. You might say something like, “Oh, I’ve always loved Nabokov,” or “I didn’t know people still read real books!” During your conversation, you might ask questions such as, “Have you read many of his books? Which is your favorite? Who’s your favorite author?” If you seem to hit it off, ask to continue to the conversation. Keep it casual, and think of it as asking a friend to hang out with you. Say, “I’ve got to get to work, but I’m really enjoying this conversation. Would you be interested in continuing it over coffee some time this week?”
Set reasonable expectations, and try not to decide if someone is unsuitable just because they’re not perfect. However, if you’re absolutely sure right off the bat that the person isn’t right for you, at least grabbing a coffee or drink isn’t a major investment of your time or money.
Date ideas to avoid include going to the movies and noisy bars. Additionally, it’s best to spend time alone at this point, so hold off on doing activities with lots of friends. Instead, try to find a date that balances activities you like and activities your date likes.
Not every relationship has to develop into a marriage or long-term partnership. Casually dating someone can be fun, and it helps you get a better sense of what you need in a partner. Have a good time, and try not to pressure yourself with rigid expectations. Remind yourself that love happens when you least expect it, and that there are plenty of aspects of life that resist your control.
