For example, let your cheap sibling be the first to know if you’re thinking of doing a group gift for your parents. If they want a less expensive option, they are able to suggest ideas themselves.
Understand that they may not be willing to contribute as much financially to the gift, but allow them to put in what they can and help in other ways (like organization and communication). Understanding lessens feelings of resentment for everyone involved.
If you’re eating out together, ask your server for separate checks at the beginning of the meal. If you’re going out as a group, let everyone know in advance that the bill will be split equally per person. If you’re hosting a “bring your own [fill in the blank]” party, let the person know everyone is expected to bring something. If they’re prepared upfront, they don’t have an excuse for cheap behavior. If expectations have been set, and the behavior continues, you may have to confront the problem directly.
Take a hike or some other physical activity. Watch a movie at home. Go to a park. Cook together. Look up free things to do near your city.
Let’s say you’ve always wanted to take a trip with this person, but you know they won’t include it in their budget. Treat them to a short getaway for their birthday. This takes the pressure of money off of both of you. It is important that you don’t expect an equivalent gift in return. Your friend can give you a thoughtful gift without spending the same amount of money. Don’t let yourself get too hung up on price tags.
Suggest bringing your lunches from home and eat together in the breakroom. Tell them you need to save money, and aren’t able to go out.
Know what you’ll say in advance. This prevents you from going on and on, straying off topic or saying things you don’t mean. It’s always important to go into that conversation with an understanding of why this is important for you. For example, how do you feel when interacting with this cheap person? What does it trigger in you?
You can try, “We’ll take turns choosing where we go. You can choose the next outing. ” Reassure them that you don’t have to spend money to have fun together.
If thinking about confronting this person brings up negative emotions, you may not be ready to confront them yet.
For example, “When you never offer to pay for the check, I feel like you don’t value our friendship. ” Or, “When you ‘forget your wallet’ every time we hang out, I feel like I’m being taken advantage of. ”
If you still consider this person a valuable part of your life, then you must learn how to cope with this problem in your life long term. If this person brings nothing but negativity and hardship to your life, then end communication with them. You can rest assured that you did your part in trying to resolve the problem.
