Be a good sport. [2] X Research source After playing a game, take a moment to congratulate other players and celebrate having a good time. Do this whether you win or lose. Remember that competition is healthy. [3] X Expert Source Jessica George, MA, CHtCertified Professional Master Life Coach Expert Interview. 11 February, 2022. Play fair. You won’t feel completely good about succeeding at something if you don’t play by the rules. Avoid trash talking others in sports, school, work, etc. Don’t be a sore loser. If you don’t win a game, or get that big promotion at work, or get the highest grade, you don’t have to complain about it. Focus on improving and achieving your goals in the future.
To practice seeing the world from the perspectives of other people, ask yourself simple questions like “I know why I want to land this promotion—why might John Doe want it?”
For instance, if you are playing a game of basketball and you miss your tenth three pointer in a row, say something to poke a little fun at yourself, like “Wow, that ball just doesn’t feel like going in the net today. ” Just move on, and then you can practice some during your free time if you want.
If your coworker gets a promotion that you really wanted, avoid indirectly aggressive statements like “Oh, I thought they wanted someone with more experience. ” Instead, say something positive, like “Well, that sounds like a great opportunity for you. ” If you get a promotion and a coworker says something covertly competitive to you, respond with something like “I’ve been working really hard to get the skills and experience for this new position. ”
Amplify the message that cheating is going on. You don’t have to “tell on” someone individually, but if you notice something wrong going on, suggest that everyone go over the rules again. Even if you have definitive evidence that rules have been broken, it may not be your job to call someone out. If you normally report to a supervisor, coach, or other authority figure, let him/her know about the problem and decide what to do about it. Create a “no cheating” pact with your teammates, coworkers, etc. Studies show that pledging an honor code reduces the prevalence of cheating. Be a good role model. Don’t cheat, and don’t condone cheating. You may not be able to stop all the cheating at all times, but you will feel good about living up to standards you believe in.
Schools that publicly report test scores, such as on bulletin boards, don’t have to use student names when doing so. Instead, each student can be given a code, and scores can be printed next to each code. That way, each student will know his or her score, but not the scores of other students. In the workplace, managers should decide on what types of information to keep private to reduce competition, including salaries, information from reviews and evaluations, etc.
You can draft a set of guidelines for competition in your school, workplace, etc. that everyone can agree on, like “No trash talking,” “Keep salary information private,” etc. If you are training in a sport that pits one person against another, such as track and field, work with your coaches and fellow athletes to develop collaborative, peer training exercises where those with strengths in a certain area help others improve.
Material value (getting a promotion means a raise at work) Praise (teachers or parents will be happy for you if you get the highest score on an exam) Prestige (becoming valedictorian increases your chances of getting into a top college) Honor (winning more games means your team can get a sports title) A little competition can be motivating, but if you’re constantly struggling for validation, attention, acceptance, or belonging, then stress over a long period of time can have long-term health effects on your body. [15] X Expert Source Tara BradfordLife & Mindset Coach Expert Interview. 16 September 2020.
“I’m disappointed that I didn’t when the game” “I’m frustrated that others keep getting promoted over me at work” “I feel like I study all the time and still don’t get the highest grades. ”
Reframe the word “competition” to mean that every morning, you want to be better than you were yesterday. This growth mindset focuses on building your skills, not on getting your validation from the binary of success/failure. [18] X Expert Source Tara BradfordLife & Mindset Coach Expert Interview. 16 September 2020.
There are ways to develop your tolerance for both winning and losing. For instance, try playing some more games that are low-stakes or cooperative, like non-competitive team sports or cooperative board games. [21] X Research source
For instance, if you’re a great basketball player and decide to try out soccer, don’t be too hard on yourself if you don’t win at first. Remember that your long-term goal is to diversify the sports you play and become a better athlete overall. Remember, it can always be satisfying to learn your strengths, then build on those strengths so you continue to be challenged. [24] X Expert Source Tara BradfordLife & Mindset Coach Expert Interview. 16 September 2020.
Playing music that makes you feel energized and fired up. Trying breathing exercises, such as breathing in through the nose and exhaling slowly through the mouth. Avoiding negative or self-defeating thoughts, like “I’ll never be as good as John Doe. ” Encouraging yourself with positive thinking, like “I’m getting a little better at this every day. ”
Trying breathing exercises] Contracting and relaxing your muscles Trying visualization techniques Practicing mindfulness meditation techniques Utilizing positive self-talk, like “I can do this, no matter what!”[27] X Research source [28] X Research source
Set goals Learn limitations Handle loss Develop problem-solving skills Learn cooperation
Humiliation Stress Frustration Anger Jealousy
