Some dramatic people may have personality disorders or mood disorders in which they tend to over exaggerate problems and are prone to attention-seeking behaviors. [2] X Research source Even if the dramatic person you’re dealing with does suffer from a mental health problem, remember that it’s still not your job or responsibility to fix or cure them. If the drama seems to be a real, critical problem, you might suggest that they seek therapy or counseling.
There is even a link to other types of childhood trauma, including things like surviving a natural disaster or dealing with abuse. These things could also ultimately lead to a young person or adult who seeks attention through acting out or behaving dramatically.
You might even notice that these drama kings and queens don’t seem to care about your input, unless you’re validating them or encouraging their behavior. Giving the person genuine advice, urging them to calm down, or insisting the problem isn’t that big might just result in them getting more upset.
If the dramatic person starts up, simply tell them outright that you won’t be putting up with it. You can do so firmly without also being rude or harsh. Say something like, “Listen, I know you’re upset, but I really can’t get involved. ” Instead, give the person the attention and validation they are seeking only when they are engaging in more positive behavior (i. e. talking about positive topics, asking about others, etc. ). Do not provide any attention, reaction, validation, or interest in drama-related topics (i. e. complaining, gossip, negative self-talk, etc. ).
Even if the dramatic person is having a fit, you can still avoid engaging with them by simply changing the subject. Say something like, “I’m sorry you’re upset. Did you want to go get some lunch?” That way, you’ve acknowledged them, but not allowed the issue to go any further.
Excusing yourself politely is one way to leave them to their own issues. Say something like, “I really wish I could help, but I have an appointment. ” Or, you could be direct with them and say, “I wish I could help, but I need a little space right now. ”[6] X Research source
Use simple questions to keep them on track. Ask something like, “What do you think you could do about this to make it better?” Redirecting their focus away from their emotions is a good way to keep from engaging with their dramatics. Instead, you’re urging them to approach things from a more level-headed and less dramatic perspective.
It’s important to remember to let these kinds of people figure themselves out on their own. They will have to come to their own understanding of their problems and how to solve them, and you can’t be held responsible for the outcome. That said, if you want to help them cope with the situation, try expressing interest in having that conversation to get a gauge for their willingness to even have any kind of conversation surrounding behaviors. Listen carefully and then try to present a team attitude towards a solution.
If the dramatic person begins to have a meltdown or outburst, say something like, “I only have a few minutes, so try and tell me the facts. ” This will hopefully redirect their emotions and also limit the amount of time you’ll be engaged with the issue.
You have to think of your own best interests, and dealing with dramatic people can be emotionally draining and stressful. It’s not a bad thing to need to step away from a person who stresses you out, and it’s okay to tell them exactly why you’re walking away.
