For example, your schedule may not accommodate being able to sit down to dinner every night, while your parents may want to have meals together as a family each night. In this type of situation, you’ll need to set rules regarding how often your family eats meals together versus on their own and stick to them once they’re set. Be prepared to adjust the rules as necessary if your parents are facing an illness that may get worse over time.
Make sure you’re taking care of your own physical health by eating healthy foods, drinking enough water each day, and getting adequate sleep each night. Remember, your parents probably would want you to take care of yourself and your own needs more than anything else. Look for support groups at aging resource centers. These groups can offer encouragement as well as share resources and ideas to make caregiving easier.
Signs that you may be about to have a burnout include insomnia, irritability, apathy, change in appetite, and feelings of guilt. You might consider placing your loved one in a senior living community for a few days when you need to take a break from caregiving. If you don’t want to have them leave the house, you can also ask a friend or family member to take over your responsibilities while you leave for a short period of time to relax.
For example, you may find that you’re uncomfortable with helping your parents bathe and clothe themselves. It’s perfectly normal to feel this way; however, you’ll ultimately need to find a way to have someone else help your parents.
Once you’ve identified people you can call on for help, keep their numbers stored in your phone so you can call them the moment you need to. When asking friends and family if they’d be willing to help you care for your parents, be honest about what that entails. They may become angry and resentful if they feel you misled them about what they would have to do to help you.
Although there are many different types of home health care aides, only those who have received medical training and licensing are qualified to assist you in caring for your parents’ medical needs.
Look for financial resources through Medicare or Medicaid to help you get medical equipment in your home or “adult babysitting” services. Elder law attorneys will also be able to help you navigate medical laws and may even find ways for you to take advantage of assistance programs offered by the state. In some cases, you may need to have power of attorney to handle your parents’ affairs. If your parents are no longer considered competent, an elder law attorney can help you gain power of attorney status. Check your state’s requirements for any necessary paperwork or documentation that needs to be completed before your parents move in with you. These documents may include medical orders, advance directives, or living wills.
If one or both of your parents has a medical condition that requires them to adhere to a certain dietary regimen, talk to their primary physician to determine what dishes or meals they should be eating (or not eating) in your home. If there’s a food that one or both of your parents absolutely should not have, avoid buying it or keeping it in your house at all.
Other devices that might be helpful for people with mobility issues include dressing aids, uplift seats, and in-bed bathing systems. Check for financial assistance programs through aging communities or Medicare/Medicaid. There are a number of technological devices that can help address a wide variety of potential limitations your parents might have, including hearing aids for those with partial hearing, arthritis aids, chair cushions, and electronic alert systems.
Examples of ADLs that are less essential but which you may also need to assist your parents with may include shopping, managing money, and taking their prescribed medications. Helping your parents perform ADLs not only takes care of their physical health, but also ensures their emotional well-being and their ability to live in dignity.
If you live in the United States, the best website to go to for finding such benefits is benefits. gov.
Even if you feel that because they’re your parents, you should be the one to take care of them, you still need to call on professional help if you find you need it. Remember, your parents’ health is far more important than your personal pride. Note that your parents may initially resist having a professional caregiver brought in to the care for them. You may have to coax them into accepting the outside help.
