You might start a discussion by saying something like “I know you are in good health, and will be for a long time to come, but have you thought about what we’ll do as you get older?”
You might ask legal questions like “Have you made a will?” You could ask health questions like “When was your last doctor’s visit? Were there any concerns?” You should also ask your parents if they have a financial plan for their future.
If your parent is a veteran, home health care coverage, financial support, home care services and more are available. Some of these services may be free to your veteran parent through the Veteran’s Administration, while others require a co-payment. This depends on many factors including your parents military discharge status, when they served, income status, and if there are any disabilities attached to their service discharge. Check with your local VA to find out if your parent is eligible.
Help your parents do an online will, or analyze their budget. If you are unsure how to do that, schedule an appointment with a lawyer or an accountant.
For example, if your parents are very mobile and mentally alert, they may need very little help from you. If your parents are forgetful and often leave the stove on, or lock themselves out of the house, you might consider more extensive care. This could include hiring a home health professional, living with your parents, or having your parents live with you.
Be realistic about your capabilities and the amount of time you can realistically set aside to help with caregiving. Anything you cannot do should be designated to a qualified caregiver of your parents choosing.
Keep in mind that people you ask for help will likely be honored and happy that you asked them. Make sure to include your parents by asking them who they would like to seek help from. Review the list of needs you developed with your parents to determine what specific things they may need help with. Be willing to point out the areas that you need extra help with. Make sure that anyone you ask for help understands what is most helpful to you and your parents.
An example might be to go to your parent’s house every other Sunday for dinner. Sometimes this will not be possible due to living a long distance from your parents.
It might be a good rule of thumb to invite your parents over for family game night from time to time, or to have dinners regularly.
This is often the case if one parent dies and leaves the other parent alone.
Never talk to your parents in a demeaning tone, especially about something that they can no longer do, such as drive.
This will help to avoid any misunderstandings or mistrust about how your parents’ money is spent.
For example, you might decide that you will pay your parents’ electric bill, but you will not pay for an extended cable package.
Even though your parents may not appreciate your efforts, it is important that you recognize and appreciate your own efforts.
Talking to someone. Talking to someone, such as a friend or a therapist, can help you to relieve stress and better understand emotions, feelings, and situations. Journaling. Writing things down give you the chance to reflect on situations that are bothering you. During and after writing, you may have better insight and identify solutions to issues that you were unable to identify before. Starting a daily ritual. Set aside anywhere from 5 minutes to 30 minutes each day that is just for you. Use this time to pray, meditate, practice yoga, do deep breathing, go for a walk in nature, or to do something else that is meaningful to you. Joining a support group. You could get involved with your church, a social club, or another community organization. The more you are able to develop your social support network, the better off you will be.
