The best part of this policy is that it’s also a subtle way of punishing someone for acting fake. When they act this way, they don’t get the privilege of hanging out with you.
A good rule of thumb is simply to avoid talking to this person until s/he talks to you first or until you have to for some other reason. Act polite but a little distant towards this person — a little like how you’d talk to someone you’ve never met before.
It’s almost always better to remove yourself from an annoying situation than to blow up at someone whose fakeness is aggravating you. Don’t be afraid to give yourself a few minutes of “cool off” time if you feel your temper beginning to flare. However, if the fake person says something disrespectful to you, you don’t have to lay back and take it. Fake people need to know that there are limits to their behavior, so fire back by saying something like, “I don’t like it when you say things like that around me. "
For example, if you notice that your friend is hanging out with mean, petty people to look “cool,” tell your friend that you’re surprised by this. Stay polite, but don’t shy away from mentioning that you think these people have terrible priorities.
“Hey, I’ve noticed you acting a little differently lately. What’s up?” “So you’ve been hanging out with some different people, huh?” “What’s all this new stuff you’ve been talking about lately?”
If your friend is getting involved with things that put his or her safety in danger (like, for example, drugs), you can tell a counselor or parent. They may be angry about this, but it’s better than the alternative. Only do this if you are genuinely concerned for their safety. It is not your place to patrol your friend’s choices in life.
Try to avoid having your conversation turn into a “dogpile” session. Remember that your goal is to talk about how your friend is acting differently than you’re used to. It’s not an excuse to make fun of this person or offer complaint after complaint.
