Another great reason to turn to your friends is that they’ll make you feel like you’re not overwhelmed. When it seems like everyone you know is talking about you behind your back, you can feel absolutely surrounded - good friends will remind you that there are always people who love and respect you.
Say something polite yet direct, like: “Hey. I want you to know that I don’t appreciate the things you’ve been saying about me. Please stop. " Then, just walk away - this person doesn’t deserve your time. Ignore any insults you hear as you’re walking away. Sometimes, the person who started the rumor didn’t do it on purpose. It may, for instance, be a friend who simply let a secret slip by accident. In cases like this, it’s OK to express your disappointment, but you should avoid acting in a way that seems vindictive or accusatory (as above. )
For instance, if you happen to overhear people talking about how you speak with a slight lisp, don’t become silent and withdrawn to avoid having to hear the sound of your own voice. Everyone has small quirks that make them unique - the gossiper’s “quirk” is that s/he is pathetically petty.
When you hear gossip about yourself, laugh it off. Act as if it’s ridiculous! Share a chuckle about it! Turn the tables by making the person who started the rumor the butt of the joke - how hilarious is it that they actually thought spreading a dumb rumor about you would work?
When you hear gossip about yourself, laugh it off. Act as if it’s ridiculous! Share a chuckle about it! Turn the tables by making the person who started the rumor the butt of the joke - how hilarious is it that they actually thought spreading a dumb rumor about you would work?
You should definitely talk to an authority figure if the gossip makes you feel like you may retaliate by doing something drastic, like starting a fight. Many schools have zero-tolerance policies for aggressive behavior. Don’t get expelled over a stupid rumor (especially not if it’s untrue. ) Get in touch with an authority figure in your school right away.
It’s also not a bad idea to try convincing the person who told you the gossip to stop spreading it. If they’re a close friend or a good person, you might have success. However, if they’re already a gossip king or queen, they may not listen. Let’s use an example. Let’s say a friend comes to you with a juicy secret about a kid you know named Jason - he hasn’t been at school for the past week because he caught mono from kissing Kim under the bleachers! In this case, just calmly say something like “Oh, let’s not spread rumors about him” to squash the conversation.
In our example, you would not let the rumors about Jason and Kim change your behavior in any way. You certainly wouldn’t avoid Jason in the lunch room or complain about having to share a locker with Kim, for instance!
Let’s say that you know the rumor about Jason is true because your mom is his doctor and she let the information slip at dinner last night. Keep this information to yourself. If you let it slip, the information could be even more hurtful to Jason than a false rumor. Gossip is still gossip if it’s true.
The best way to avoid telling a secret is to simply feign ignorance - pretend that you don’t know anything. It’s smarter to do this than to acknowledge you know a secret but refuse to tell it - if people weren’t interested in the information before, the promise of a juicy secret will probably make them try to work the information out of you. For instance, if Kim tells you that she originally got the mono from Jason’s best friend Stephen, do not tell your friends “I have a secret, but you can’t know it!”
Even telling trusted friends can carry risks. They may, in turn, tell other people that they trust. As this cycle repeats, more and more people will hear your gossip and the chance that it will make its way into the general population will increase.
Violating someone’s trust by telling a teacher about something dangerous he or she plans to do can make you feel guilty, as if you’ve betrayed this person. However, someone’s physical well-being is more important than his or her sense of trust in you. In fact, in most cases, it’s disloyal not to prioritize a friend’s safety.
Violating someone’s trust by telling a teacher about something dangerous he or she plans to do can make you feel guilty, as if you’ve betrayed this person. However, someone’s physical well-being is more important than his or her sense of trust in you. In fact, in most cases, it’s disloyal not to prioritize a friend’s safety.
