Don’t immediately throw yourself into work (or something else that consumes all your time) because you’ll just keep pushing away the emotions rather than actually dealing with them and that will make it harder on you in the long run. You are going to have lots of emotional ups and downs. Recovering from heartbreak isn’t a straight line of progression upward, but rather a spiral. Just remember as you are going through the same emotional circle, that each time around you’re better able to deal with the emotions from the heartbreak and that you are getting better.
Block your ex on social media so that you won’t be tempted to spend hours pouring over their Facebook page and over-analyzing every single thing they post in an attempt to figure out if they regret not being with you and miss you, etc. etc. If you’re constantly trying to stay in communication with your ex you’re not going to be able to move on, which will make your feelings of heartbreak and unhappiness that much harder and that much harder to bear.
Try journaling about how you’re feeling. This is an especially good thing to do if you’re bad at talking with other people about your feelings. Every day, write down how you’re feeling about the heartbreak. Gradually, you’ll see that you are getting better. You don’t need to pretend you’re fine when you’re really really not. Accept that you’re going to be going through some emotional turbulence for a bit. Your friends (if they’re true friends) will understand and support you. Feel free to listen to angsty, angry, sad songs to help get those feelings out, but don’t stay there. Make sure that you don’t only listen to songs about heartbreak and breakups, otherwise you’re going to have an even tougher time getting over it.
Start small. Don’t try to make yourself go out and host an entire fancy dinner right after the heartbreak. Instead, start by getting coffee or a beer with your best friend, or going to hang out at the library. Do things that you enjoy, especially things that you weren’t able to do while being part of a couple. This will remind you why you’re better off without the relationship and remind you how to do things on your own.
Reward yourself for things that take extra effort like cleaning your apartment, going grocery shopping, even showering. Exercising can be a good way to take care of yourself and boost your mood. Exercise releases endorphins, which can help make you feel happier and you’ll feel better about yourself in general.
Set a time each day to reflect on the break-up, usually about 20-30 minutes. Set a timer so that you know when time’s up. During the day, as thoughts of the heartbreak come up, remind yourself that you have a specific time set aside and until then, you’ll focus on other things. Make sure that you have an activity that requires your attention (preferably something fun) schedule for right after, so your attention is immediately diverted. Get a trusted friend or family member to help you out. Give yourself a certain limit when talking about the heartbreak (say 30 minutes) and when you’ve gone over it have your friend or family member remind you to put your focus elsewhere.
If you’re going out and partying try to moderate your drinking, both so that you don’t end up drunk-calling/texting your ex and so that you don’t think it’s a really good idea to try to start something with someone because you’re feeling down and your self esteem is low. Have your friends help you out. If it looks like you’re coming in for a fall, have them remind you about rebounds and just make sure that’s really what you want (which it can be, but you’ll need to check in with yourself to make sure).
You also want to make sure that you’re not just putting things like “can’t wait for my hot date tonight” on Facebook in the hopes that your ex or their friends will see. If you’re doing that you’re still in the throes of the breakup and you’re still doing things for their benefit instead your own. The more you text/call your ex the harder it will be for you to move on, especially if they broke up with you. You’ll be doing nothing more than boosting their self esteem and lowering your own. Delete them from your phone, block them on social media, and don’t ask your friends or their friends how they are.
You still have a future, remember. Even though it no longer involves that other person, you still have hopes and dreams and plans for what you’ll be doing. You’ll be grieving the loss of the dreams you were working for with the other person, but you’ll need to remember that you can replace those dreams with new ones. Repeat to yourself “I want to be happy. " This mantra will remind you that even though you’re in the dumps because of heartbreak, you have no desire to remain there. Remind yourself that you’re working towards being happy and getting over your heartbreak is part of that. [3] X Research source
Learn to see the difference between regular sadness over a breakup and true depression. If it’s been weeks and you’re unable to get out of bed, or take care of yourself, or you simply don’t care about anything, you definitely need to see a professional.
