If this person is from work or school, you may not be able to avoid them all the time; however, you can try to avoid them during breaks, and just try to stay away from them for as long as you can so they won’t bother you. Try fighting the negative behavior with positive behavior. Go out of your way to be nice to them and create a better interaction. [2] X Research source
Meanness may appear as frustration, irritation, or impatience. If you spot any of these, you could say “Looks like you could use a break. Why don’t we take 5 minutes?” or “Is there something I can help you with?” Taking the time to get to know them may clear up some things for you. Maybe you’re just taking things too personally or maybe they’re just misunderstood. Taking a compassionate approach can help to show them that you actually see the person and not just the behavior. [4] X Trustworthy Source Greater Good Magazine Journal published by UC Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center, which uses scientific research to promote happier living Go to source
For example, you’re at school, another kid might bully you into doing something you don’t want to. Make eye contact and tell them “no” using a calm and steady voice. You may have to repeat this a few times, but eventually they’ll stop. [5] X Research source
It’s easy to dismiss your feelings but this isn’t really fair to you or the mean person. You just end up bottling things up that some point might explode. Addressing your feelings might give insight as to why this is happening. Does your reaction fuel the fire and give the mean person more reason to pick on you? Sometimes, mean people target others because they want a reaction. Step back and observe how the mean person interacts with others. Is the behavior only happening with you or is it how he or she generally acts?
Breathe deeply and make positive affirmations to calm yourself. Getting upset will only encourage the mean person to continue their behavior.
Try a body scan exercise to release the tension. Lay down or sit back in a chair and clear your mind. Starting with your toes, tense and relax each body part until you reach your face and fingers. This usually takes about 15 minutes. [7] X Research source You can also download many relaxation videos on YouTube if you prefer to listen to something that will guide you through the process.
Stand up to the behavior in a confident way or use your confidence to defy the behavior. That is up to you, but confidence is the key. [8] X Research source
“Hey, I felt humiliated when you teased me in the meeting earlier. " Something straightforward and to the point should do the trick. Don’t be vague and tell them that they’re being mean for example. Instead, give them a specific example, such as how they teased you in front of class.
For example: “The next time you have suggestions for my work performance, can you please share them with me privately? I’d greatly appreciate that. " Alternatively, ask them for help that they can use their talents instead of seeking negative attention. Letting them know that you recognize their skills can start a better working relationship. Be the first one to extend the olive branch and offer kindness. If they’re able to gain positive attention, they’re usually stop their behavior. [10] X Research source
Bullying is against the rules in most schools and jobs. If you’re the target of bullying, reach out to someone who can help put a stop to it. [11] X Trustworthy Source StopBullying. gov Website run by the U. S. Department of Health and Human Services providing information related to identifying and preventing bullying Go to source
If they have a snappy attitude each time you talk to them in person, consider communicating via email. For face-to-face encounters, prepare your statement ahead of time so that the conversation can end quickly: “Hey, I’m headed to a meeting, but I wanted to check in to see how the report was progressing. "
Make your exit obvious, like having your coat on and walking out the door. This will allow you to leave quickly in a convincing manner. They won’t have time to be mean. You can say something like “Oh, well. I’m running late for my lunch break. I’ll catch you later. "
If you can’t avoid them, consider each encounter as a challenge for you to show compassion and practice patience. Just as mean people can spread negative energy, you can spread the positive.
