You don’t need to have a word to define your sexuality immediately. If words like “gay,” “lesbian,” “pansexual,” “queer,” or “bisexual” don’t feel right to you, then there’s no pressure to use them to describe yourself. You can just be someone who experiences feelings for people of the same gender. If you’re religious, know that God made you the way you are. Even if some communities don’t think of same-gender attraction as ‘normal,’ it’s normal for you, and that’s what matters. [3] X Research source
If you don’t know whether someone would be supportive if they knew about your feelings, you can test this out by asking them a question about their beliefs in casual conversation, like “Would someone being queer be a dealbreaker for you to be friends with them?” If you’re in an environment where everyone around you has a negative reaction to the idea of same-gender relationships, it’s important to find community elsewhere. There are many LGBTQ people and LGBTQ allies online who are also looking to build a community. Try using social media or other forums on the Internet to reach out to others. [5] X Expert Source Marissa Floro, PhDCounseling Psychologist Expert Interview. 18 February 2021.
If someone believes that LGBTQ folks should live lives without any hope of intimacy, they are not treating them with compassion. Forcing others into loneliness is not an act of love.
Same-gender relationships are often portrayed in a negative light. But most gay, lesbian, pansexual, queer and bisexual folks find both happiness and fulfillment. Plenty of LGBTQ movies, even very good ones, are quite sad, but don’t let this lead you to think that being same-gender attracted leads to tragedy–it doesn’t. [8] X Research source
PFLAG, an LGBTQ rights organization, has compiled a list of resources that discuss reconciling Christianity and same-gender attraction in a variety of denominations. Access this list by following this link: https://pflag. org/blog/faith-resources-christians
You don’t need to place pressure on yourself to meet any romantic partners at these events. Instead, find friends and acquaintances to build up a social circle of LGBTQ individuals that can support you in your journey. It’s OK if you don’t meet anyone you click with your first couple tries at LGBTQ events. It’s not always easy finding friends, but you should feel proud of yourself for trying. If you keep trying, you’re bound to find someone with whom you share interests.
If you need help finding an LGBTQ-friendly church, try visiting https://www. gaychurch. org/. Plenty of denominations are represented, so you can find one that meets your needs.
Ask yourself how being with someone of your own gender feels in comparison to the “opposite” gender. It can be scary going down this road of thinking, but be honest with yourself, not judgmental. It can sometimes be difficult to find a romantic partner, especially when you’re looking for someone of the same gender. But by putting yourself in spaces with other same-gender attracted people, you’re much more likely to find someone you click with. If you’ve already had casual sexual encounters with people of the same gender, and only ended up more confused, that’s OK. This can be a hard process. Try taking your time to get to know someone, and look for something more romantic than purely sexual—you’ll feel less isolated afterwards.
There is absolutely no need to place pressure on yourself to come out. [17] X Expert Source Marissa Floro, PhDCounseling Psychologist Expert Interview. 18 February 2021. If coming out would threaten your financial, emotional, or physical safety, please wait until you find yourself in a more secure position. There is no correct time to come out, and you have the right to make this decision for yourself. [18] X Research source
Straight people tend to feel pressured to follow one set road through life—marriage, kids, and a nice house. You can have all these things too, or have a different vision for your life. Your life is not scripted: over time, you can learn to enjoy this freedom. [20] X Trustworthy Source PubMed Central Journal archive from the U. S. National Institutes of Health Go to source
