Though it can be tempting to point out how expensive your handbag, wine, or painting are, it’s just not worth it. The snob can never be out-snobbed, and you’ll only be making yourself look bad while alienating the non-snobs around you in the process.
If the snob insists on acting like you don’t exist, you can even cheerily say, “Hi!” followed by the snob’s name when he walks by. This will catch him off guard — and hey, it may make you chuckle.
It’s one thing if you really aren’t an expert on something and the snob tries to gently educate you, but another if you’re talking about something you feel confident about. Don’t let a snob make you doubt how many championships the Lakers have if you’re positive you know the answer; however, if a snob who spent ten years making wine tells you something you didn’t know about pinot noir, it’s okay to listen if you’re not being condescended to.
Instead of saying that the snob has terrible taste, you can just mention something you like instead in a kind fashion. You can say something like, “Well, I haven’t seen Sherlock, but I really love True Detective. Have you checked it out?” This works far better than saying something like, “That show is for losers. True Detective is the best show out there and everyone knows it. ”
If you’re afraid of using yourself as an example, you can say something like, “You really hurt Ashley’s feelings when you told her her shoes looked cheap. I don’t think comments like that are very helpful. ”
If you find yourself on the brink of tears, just excuse yourself and step out for a minute or say you have to take a quick phone call. Don’t let them see how upset you are. Don’t waste your time complaining about them to others, either. It’ll get back to them and will only give them power.
If you really do find something you have in common, then you can even impress the snob with your knowledge of the subject. It may take a little digging if you really feel like you and the snob have nothing in common. If you have a mutual acquaintance, see if that person can give you something to work with. Then the next time you see the snob, you can say something like, “I didn’t know you were a Celtics fan, too. Are you from Boston?”
As you help them get to know you, you may find that they’re not who you think, either. Maybe you had a certain idea of the snobby person as being stuck-up, when you’ll learn that the person is really just insecure and afraid of new people.
It’s all in the delivery. You should avoid making it sound like you’re offering a superior opinion. Instead, say something like, “Hey, if you like Vampire Weekend, then I think you’ll actually really like this Velvet Underground album. ”
If the snob is really set in his ways about certain subject, then there’s no point in trying to fight him on the point. You can talk to other people who care about your love for The Beatles or yoga.
Though you don’t have to change what you talk about completely to win the snob over, keeping his own prejudices and experiences in mind when you talk will make for more positive conversation.
Think about it: isn’t your life so much easier because you’re able to have a conversation without making people feel bad? Think about the difficulty the snob faces in everyday interactions — even if it’s his fault, it still makes for a pretty miserable existence.
If the snob is close friends with a few people you think are normal and nice, then it really may be that he or she just opens up to very few people. Think it through before making a final call.
If you don’t want to let the snob affect your schedule, think of strategic ways to avoid him or her when you’re in the same room. You can pretend to look busy on your phone, actively engage in conversations with other people, or even move to a different conversational circle if you’re at a party.
Make a list of all of the qualities you like about yourself, and all of the compliments other people have given you. Just because one person is being a jerk to you doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you — in fact, it’s much more likely that something is wrong with him or her.
If you’re in a group with the snob, just don’t make eye contact or really engage with him. Focus on what other people are saying instead.
You can even hash out something the snob said with one of your close friends, if it’ll make you feel better. Though you shouldn’t give the snob too much power by talking about him too much, if you just want to confirm that the snob is annoying with one of your close friends, then you can talk about it. Your friend will assure you that you’re awesome and that the snob has nothing to feel superior about!
