For example, you may be more likely to drink after you have a conversation with a difficult family member. If you can figure out this pattern, it might help you be proactive in avoiding the self-destructive behavior. [2] X Expert Source Catherine Boswell, PhDLicensed Psychologist Expert Interview. 18 December 2020.
As another example, if you’re already in a relationship, become aware of people that might tempt you to cheat. These people may be old acquaintances that have come back into your life, your co-workers, or people that you interact with in private settings. However, temptation isn’t always this obvious. For example, say you’re a business professional and you’re tempted to knock off early on a Friday afternoon a few days a month. A couple of early departures don’t seem like a big deal, but this could represent to your employer that you can’t be trusted with responsibility, which could jeopardize long-term goals such as promotion and advancement.
If you’re tempted to drink, the annual work party at the bar will probably challenge your determination. Stay alert for potential temptations and avoid them when possible. This way, you won’t be caught off-guard and you’ll always be prepared to deal with temptations. [3] X Research source Sheldon, O. J. , & Fishbach, A. (2015). Anticipating and resisting the temptation to behave unethically. Personality And Social Psychology Bulletin, 41(7), 962-975. doi:10. 1177/0146167215586196 If you can’t completely remove yourself from a situation or person, try to manage the situation so that it’s more difficult to act on your temptation. For example, if you’re tempted to cheat with a friend, avoid one-on-one situations. Always meet in a group, if you have to see the person. [4] X Research source
For example, if you’re tempted to cheat and the person you’re interested in asks you out, honestly refuse her by saying you’re already in a relationship. Once she knows this, she may be less likely to flirt with you in the future.
Once you’ve practiced enough, you may even purposely try to resist the temptation. Go to the store and confront your temptation. This technique is not appropriate for addictions, such as drug or alcohol addictions. Visualization of giving in or contact with paraphernalia can act as a trigger and make resistance to this temptation much harder.
For example, trying a single cigarette or eating a single slice of cheesecake are not likely to have immediate, long-term, extensive negative consequences. However, smoking that cigarette makes you more likely to have another, and another, which increases your overall risk of highly negative consequences. And even a single cigarette can cause immediate damage to your body and raise your risk of diseases such as cancer. [6] X Research source Try to consider your actions in a broader context. A single slice of cheesecake won’t kill you, but if you’re trying to avoid sugar to become healthier, eating it will hold you back from that long-term goal. The extra calories will also add up over time if you keep giving in. Thinking about things this way, instead of as isolated incidents, can help improve self-control. You may even find that visualizing the long-term consequences can help you build your resistance. For example, if you’re tempted to smoke, visualize yourself as a cancer patient hooked up to chemotherapy. Visualize how terrible you feel, how expensive your treatments have been, and how heartbroken your family is. [7] X Research source
You may want to do something that engages you with others who need help. Shift the focus of your attention away from yourself to people who’d appreciate you. It may take your mind off of the temptation. Having a specific “distraction plan” is a good idea. For example, tell yourself that if you notice the urge for a cigarette, you will get up and go for a short run. This will act as a distraction and improve your health, too.
For example, if you’re feeling tempted to cheat on your partner, avoid flirting with a co-worker that you’re interested in. Since you know you don’t want to cheat, don’t even act like you’re interested. [11] X Research source As another example, if you’re struggling to stay on your low-sugar eating plan given you by your doctor, you could refuse invitations to holiday parties that are likely to be full of sweets and rich foods. However, this option also limits your ability to socialize and interact with others, so consider whether this is the route you really want to take.
Framing your plans in terms of “if-then” may be helpful. For example, you might come up with this scenario: “If I am offered a piece of cake at the party, I will say ‘No, thanks, I am watching my sugar,’ and go start a conversation with someone close by. "
For example, if you’re at a party and trying to watch your drinking, tell your date to remind you of your plan after one drink. If you can find one where you feel comfortable, support groups can be a great way to get help when you’re trying to overcome an addictive behavior. [14] X Expert Source Catherine Boswell, PhDLicensed Psychologist Expert Interview. 18 December 2020.
Using technology can also let you know when you’re more likely to give in to temptation. For example, you might notice that you’re more likely to overindulge on the weekends.
Be sure to agree on terms of the challenge before you both begin.
Try writing down several things that you’re thankful for every day. [18] X Research source Keep the list close and read through it whenever you feel tempted.
One way to practice is to try to change or break a habit, even a trivial one. So, if you notice that you always brush your teeth starting on the right side of your mouth, make a conscious effort to start on the left side instead. Setting a daily routine is another good way to practice. For example, you might make a plan to get up at 7:30 AM every day, including the weekends, and eat a cooked breakfast instead of grabbing a doughnut. As you practice this routine, you’ll develop your self-control skills. You can also try to practice self-control in more meaningful ways, such as making the decision to bike to school twice a week instead of driving. Getting yourself in the habit of setting goals and following through will help you build up your self-control “muscles. "
One study found that students who had to exercise self-control in one task did poorer on a subsequent self-control task than students who hadn’t had to flex those self-control “muscles” prior to the activity. [22] X Trustworthy Source American Psychological Association Leading scientific and professional organization of licensed psychologists Go to source So, if you’re going to a holiday party with a lot of sweets that you want to resist, make sure you don’t also eat lunch in the breakroom near that open box of doughnuts. This constant pressure to resist temptation could wear you down. The same study also found that decision-making can impact your self-control ability. If you know you’re going to be in a situation that requires you to make decisions, such as a high-pressure meeting at work, try to avoid other situations that day that will require you to resist temptation. For example, perhaps say no to a big party in the evening if you know you will have to make some decisions earlier in the day.
Even a quick refreshment, such as a glass of lemonade or a piece of fruit, can help bring your glucose levels up and improve your self-control. Eating foods high in fiber, such as beans, oats, potatoes, and vegetables, will help your glucose levels stay steady rather than dipping or spiking. They also take longer to digest, which will help you feel fuller longer and can help fight food-related temptation. [24] X Trustworthy Source Cleveland Clinic Educational website from one of the world’s leading hospitals Go to source
Try daily techniques such as yoga or tai chi. Meditation helps many people relax. Deep breathing exercises can be helpful, and you can do them anywhere, anytime. Get enough rest. Sleep at least 7-9 hours a night, and keep a sleep routine, even on weekends. [27] X Trustworthy Source Centers for Disease Control and Prevention Main public health institute for the US, run by the Dept. of Health and Human Services Go to source
