Some people choose to turn 18 and move out of the house before disclosing to be safer, It’s up to you. Consider going to a support group or joining an online forum for tips on coming out to your parents and to better prepare yourself. A good forum for this is called “Empty Closets,” which you can visit at https://forum. emptyclosets. com/index. php.
For example, say, “I know I’m a bit different from my siblings, but I want to talk to you. It’s hard for me to feel like I fit in. ” If you’ve come out and your parents aren’t accepting, say, “I know you don’t accept that I’m trans, but I want you to accept me as your child and as part of this family. ” If at any point you feel threatened or endangered by your parents or family, get help from a friend or an LGBTQ center near you.
For example, say, “I think it’s important to stand up for trans people. Many trans people already feel marginalized, so it’s important to me to be there and support them. ” You can also say, “I don’t know what it feels like to feel unsafe, but they do. I want to help trans people feel safe. ”
For example, say, “That was an unkind comment. Please don’t say that. ” You can also say, “Please don’t say those things, especially around me. I think all people should be treated with respect, whether they differ from me or not. ”
If you can’t talk about trans issues without getting upset or blowing up at each other, you might want to drop it. You can’t change their minds, and you may have to agree to disagree. Your goal should be to allow both you and your parents to make yourselves heard, not to change each other’s opinions.
This is especially true if you’ve come out as transgender. While you might feel hurt by your parents lack of acceptance, if you give them time, they could come around.
If you’re trans and feel unaccepted, don’t completely lose hope for your parents. Tell them that you love them and that they must accept who you really are. Expect it to take a little time. Make sure you are getting what you need without their support in the meanwhile.
It helps to feel supported by people who care. Even if they don’t understand your gender identity, the fact that they care and are there for you can help.
It’s really validating to surround yourself with a community of people who accept you and support you for who you are. [9] X Expert Source Deb Schneider, LCSW, PPSCLicensed Clinical Social Worker Expert Interview. 2 April 2021.
Find a therapist through your (or your family’s) insurance provider or a local mental health clinic. You can also ask friends or your local LGBTQ resource center for a referral.
