Make sure that the rules you develop are clear and simple. For example, for a child who has trouble with physical aggression, the rule could simply be worded “no hitting. ”
Stop, think, choose. Stop the current activity, reflect on what you are thinking, and then consider consequences for yourself and others before you choose your next action. Personal time-out. Leave the room and take a few minutes to calm down before you return to the situation. Talk about how you feel. Tell a person you trust about how you are feeling by naming the feelings you are having and how the feelings are affecting you. Deep breaths. Take several deep breaths to help you if you are overwhelmed by feelings.
Positive reinforcement of good behavior is very powerful. Meaningful rewards don’t need to be expensive toys or outings. Spending time with a child playing a game she enjoys might be a very inspiring reward for a child. And praise from you is a very meaningful reward for every child. When it comes to consequences, keep them minor. For older children, docking allowance or assigning an additional chore might be effective. For younger children, a brief time-out (no more than one minute for each year of the child’s age) would be more appropriate.
For example, tell your child that instead of hitting someone, you would like him to come to see you and tell you about feeling angry. Try role-playing with your child using “real-life” situations you have the child become upset and exhibit the bad behavior.
Parents who do not enforce the rules consistently and quickly tend not to see change in their child.
Temper tantrums can be caused by all sorts of things, from being tired or hungry to not knowing what words to use or having trouble doing something difficult. [1] X Research source
Make sure no one else gets hurt by the tantrum behavior, such as another child nearby.
Remove whatever was causing the tantrum and give the child something easy to do. For example, if the tantrum came about after the child tried to color a difficult picture, remove that picture and choose something easier for the child to work on. [8] X Research source
You can also talk with your child about expressing feelings through words or by letting out upset energy in a more positive way.
It is important for children to have rules enforced consistently by everyone who takes care of them, including you. Find out what rules the child is expected to follow and how the parents would like you to handle breaking any rules. [11] X Research source
”Giving in” to a child’s demands, including things like eating too much candy or not going to bed on time, can upset parents and confuse children. Children might seem to respond positively to your permissiveness in the beginning, but their behavior will go downhill quickly if you don’t use good boundaries based on parents’ guidelines. [12] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source
If you can, find out in advance what the child enjoys doing. Arts and crafts projects, games, or playing with favorite toys can all be engaging activities for children.
Never raise your voice or hit a child. Never shake or hit a baby in any way.
