A bully gains enjoyment from tormenting others. You might not always get along with everyone at work, but that doesn’t mean you’ve got a bully on your hands any more than you’re a bully yourself. Distinguish between the two by recognizing this trait–does this person seem to make special effort in messing with you, tripping you up, or bringing you down? Do they seem to enjoy it? If the answer is yes, this might suggest a bully. Bullies often have deep-seated psychological issues related to control. Know that your bullying has less to do with your performance and your personality and more to do with the bully’s insecurities. [2] X Research source
Shouting, whether in private, in front of colleagues, or in front of customers Name-calling Belittling or disrespectful comments Excessive monitoring, criticizing, or nitpicking someone’s work Deliberately overloading someone with work Undermining someone’s work by setting them up to fail Purposefully withholding information needed to perform a job efficiently Actively excluding someone from normal workplace/staff room conversations and making someone feel unwelcome
You have trouble sleeping or struggle with nausea and vomiting because you’re scared to go to work Your family gets frustrated because of how much you talk and obsess about work problems You spend days off worrying about going back to work Your doctor notices health problems like blood pressure and other stress concerns You feel guilty about having provoked your workplace troubles
Unlike schoolyard bullies, who tend to pick on victims they identify as alone or weak, workplace bullies typically pick on employees they consider threatening to their career. If your presence makes someone else look bad enough they feel the need to take you down, take it as a twisted compliment. You’re good at what you do. You know this. Don’t let them confuse you.
Put your hands up, creating a barrier between you and your bully, like a police officer using the stop signal with his hand. Say something short that communicates your frustration, like: “Please stop and let me work” or “Stop talking please. " This will help you to stand up to the behavior and give you ammunition for your report if the behavior continues. Never escalate the bullying. Shouting counter insults or yelling back might end up getting you in trouble or making the situation worse. Use a calm, collected tone of voice, and tell the person to stop as if you were talking to a dog chewing on a slipper. [9] X Research source
Even if you’re not sure you’re being bullied, journaling about your feelings in a diary can help you to get your feelings out and figure out for yourself what you’re struggling with. As a result of writing down your feelings and your frustrations, you might decide you don’t have a bully, or that you definitely do and you need to take action. Remember, though, that workplace bullying, if it’s not based on an illegal protected characteristic, it’s not illegal. If someone is bullying you based on your sports team preference or anything similar, you might have a hard time proving your case worthy. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t discuss the situation with HR, though. [12] X Expert Source James FettLawyer Expert Interview. 22 November 2022.
If bullying tends to happen at particular times or in particular locations, have your witness linger in the area if you suspect you’re going to be tormented by your bully. Bring partners into a meeting with a superior who you feel bullies you. You’ll have backup in case things get ugly and you’ll have evidence for later. If you’re being bullied, there’s a good chance others are too. Team up and help each other deal with a common enemy.
Wait overnight between a bullying situation and reporting things to your boss. If you’re bullied in the meantime, or if you have to wait a while before talking to your boss, do your best to avoid your bully. Remain calm and continue on your way. If you expect bullying might happen, you’ll be prepared when it does.
Don’t suggest a course of action unless your boss requests it. In other words, it’s inappropriate to talk to your boss and say, “Bruce needs to get fired because he bullies me. " Lay out your case as strongly as possible and with as much incriminating evidence as you can, say, “I’m frustrated with this behavior and I’ve run out of options, so I thought you needed to know. " Let your superiors come to their own conclusions about a course of action. If your superior is the one bullying you, contact HR or contact your supervisor’s superiors. It’s not the army and there is no “chain of command. " Talk to someone who can make a difference.
It would be helpful to come up with a variety of alternatives to help make the situation better for you. If your boss’s supervisor is unwilling to fire your boss but acknowledges that bullying has occurred, are you willing to transfer? Are you willing to work from home? What would make the situation “right” by you? Give some alternatives serious thought in case you need to present a case for yourself. If you present evidence and nothing changes or the situation becomes worse, consult a lawyer and consider legal action. [19] X Expert Source James FettLawyer Expert Interview. 22 November 2022. Provide them with documentation and seek legal action. [20] X Trustworthy Source US Equal Employment Opportunity Commission U. S. government agency that enforces civil rights in the workplace Go to source
If you’ve presented a good case for yourself, you should be a good candidate for a paid vacation. Jump on this opportunity.
Devote time to old hobbies Read more Start dating Socialize with friends and family
Pair this with an open-door policy and hold frequent orientation meetings regarding workplace bullying, making sure employees at all levels are on the lookout for this behavior.
Investigate all complaints seriously and fully. [26] X Expert Source James FettLawyer Expert Interview. 22 November 2022. Even if complaints seem to come from overly sensitive employees and turn out to be the result of simple misunderstandings, they’re worthy of your attention.
Workplace competition is based on the belief that employees want to be the best and will work harder when rewarded for successes. While it’s true that competition in some business models can increase productivity, it also increases the turnover of employees and can create a hostile and unwelcoming environment.
