One great breathing exercise to help you calm down is called the “Four Square” method. Inhale in for four counts, hold it for four counts, exhale for four counts, rest for four counts, then take two normal breaths. [1] X Research source . Repeat this as many times as you need to until you feel calm. If your emotions are running high, chances are you will only add to the conflict.
Get some fresh air. Being outside and around nature is a great way to cool off. [3] X Research source . Check in with your parents and go for a walk outside or in your backyard.
Don’t get too mad. Lashing out might get you into trouble. Try to understand the problem
Find somewhere quiet and invite your brother to talk about the situation with you. Enter the conversation with a positive attitude. If you are defensive or upset he will sense it in you.
One good way to share your feelings is through the “I-Message” method. [11] X Research source . Create a sentence using: “I feel_____________when you___________because___________. " This will prevent your little brother from feeling attacked. If your little brother ignores you, then let him know that this means a lot to you.
Sometimes it is necessary to let go of your pride in order to solve a conflict, especially with someone younger than you.
Schedule a regular “hang out” time with your brother. This is a good way to show him he is loved and supported. He will also be more likely to give you privacy when you need it if you have a specific time set aside to play. Offer your help with homework or other projects. Your little brother probably looks up to you and helping him is a good way to show you are there for him.
If you are angry and combative with your brother, he will treat you the same way. If you are patient and kind with him, he will learn to be patient and kind with you.
When asking for space, do so very gently. It may be difficult for your little brother to understand that you can love him and still want some space from him.
Look for after-school activities. Your school or local community center probably has after school art classes, sports teams, or drama productions. Ask your teachers and parents about ways to spend time outside of the house. If you share a room with your younger brother, create a space somewhere else in the house that is yours. Start doing your homework in the kitchen or on the couch. You might not have your own room, but creating a regular space to work or read can help you feel more independent in your home. The local library is a great, safe space to spend time outside of your family. Talk to your parents about spending time there after school or on the weekends.
