A simple and straightforward way to show support can be by saying something like “Hey, man, it really looks like Vanessa makes you happy. As long as she’s making you happy, she’s alright with me!” The worst thing you can do is pretend the new girlfriend does not exist or refuse to talk about it. If he feels it is a good thing, then it is important that you openly show support for the relationship.
You might choose to hang out with the two of them sometime to see what she is like. You can ask her questions about where she’s from, her family, hobbies, or goals. Doing this will show to your friend that you are making an attempt at getting to know her. Remember you do not need to be her friend to support your friend feeling happy about the relationship. It’s your job as a friend to want the best for your friend, but you don’t get to choose what is best for him.
Be honest with yourself. Does your friend seem to genuinely like the new girlfriend? Can you spot any clear indicators that she’s a bad person? If you answered “yes” and “no”, then she’s probably a decent choice for him right now. Show your happiness by asking him about the relationship, inviting them as a couple to social events, and spending time with them together.
Be aware that any negative feelings you have towards her may be tied to you not liking the time you are missing with him instead of a real problem with her. Don’t let your feelings cloud any advice you feel like you need to give to your friend.
In all reality, you are not the girlfriend. You will not win the battle to get equal time and could end up without a friend at all if you force the issue. Make sure your friend knows you enjoy the time and it is important to you. At the same time, keep good boundaries about him not committing to spend time with you and later backing out to see his girlfriend. Be realistic about how he will balance your friendship and the new girlfriend.
Even if you are not sure about this new girl, your friend will appreciate the effort you put out to get to know her. At the very least you get to spend time with your friend you wouldn’t otherwise get to since he would be with her.
Go somewhere you would go with your friend–maybe the park, the arcade, or to a sporting event. You’re not dating her, of course, but going somewhere alone might help you get to know her better, and, thus, ease your worries.
Realize that changes in your friendships are a part of growing up and getting older. As each of you finds love and start your own families, the time you have for friends may lessen. However, it doesn’t change the value of that time. It may be tough at first to see how you fit into his life if the romantic relationship is new and they are really focused on the future “we”.
Feeling jealous is normal, so be aware that you may not really be looking for a new romance as much as you are hoping to fight the jealous feelings. You don’t have to be in a relationship just because your best friend is.
You will have to decide if you want to tell your friend about your feelings. This can be a risk since it could seem like you are only trying to break up his new relationship. Keep in mind, also, that feelings are fleeting. You may not want to tell your friend if you think there’s a chance your feelings are temporary. [9] X Research source Telling a friend that you have a crush can drastically change your relationship. On the other hand, it may be hard for you to stand by and watch as he dates another person. Talk to someone you trust and ask this person for advice on what to do. Do not act irrationally–think over your options before you take any action.
It is estimated that a new romantic relationship costs you two friendships. This happens due to the fact that you suddenly have less time for friends. If your guy friend is important to you, you need to be prepared for less time with him, if you want to continue being friends.
Chances are, you may have neglected some other relationships in favor of spending time with your bestie. Take your newly discovered free time and use it to reconnect with those you have been neglecting. They’ll surely appreciate the extra time and attention.
