For example, instead of just telling your partner, “Jordan acts creepy with me sometimes,” say, “Jordan isn’t very respectful of my personal space. Sometimes he touches me in ways that make me uncomfortable. ”
For example, say, “Regan makes me feel uncomfortable, especially when you leave the room. There have been times what he’s said has crossed the line. ”
For example, you can say, “Our differences are causing us problems because we can’t see eye to eye on your friend. I know he’s important to you. If you hang out with him, can it be someplace outside of our house?”
For example, say, “I can’t tell you who your friends are, but I’d appreciate it if you let me know ahead of time when your friend is coming over. ”
For example, your partner can pull them aside and say, “My girlfriend doesn’t like it when you make comments about her body. Please stop doing that. ”
If you’re planning a trip, request that the person who is creepy not be invited, as you’d rather not spend extended periods of time with them.
If you’ve been traumatized and have not dealt with the trauma, consider working with a therapist. Through therapy, you can gain self-awareness, and learn to develop skills to cope and move past the trauma. Even if you don’t like your partner’s friend, you can begin to be around them without feeling threatened or scared.
For example, if the person comments negatively about something you’ve expressed positively, write it off as them sharing their opinion, even if it felt inappropriate. Reassure yourself that it’s okay for others to share their opinions.
At the same time, stand your ground. Try to understand their perspective, but be firm about setting boundaries.
For example, you might both enjoy dogs and find a way to connect over having a dog.
If you find yourself needing to speak to them, keep it polite, cordial, and simple. Keep your interactions brief and pleasant.
Ask your partner to let you know when this person will be around. Then, make an effort to do something else or go somewhere on your own.
Seek out your partner or other friends nearby to connect with people who make you feel safe.
For example, say, “Please do not touch me, it makes me feel uncomfortable. ” If the person says inappropriate things to you or around you, say, “I don’t like when you speak that way and it makes me feel uncomfortable. Please don’t say those things around me. ”
