Self-care activities can include virtually anything that relaxes you and relieves tension. You can go to the spa for a massage, listen to music while you walk/jog on the trails, and even go to the library for peace and quiet to study. Schedule in a few self-care activities each week to keep your stress levels down.
Do consider how often you end up leaving to make sure the roommate isn’t reacting in a negative way just to get the room to themselves.
It may be a good idea to schedule in a weekly meeting or housekeeping session to discuss any issues happening within the living space. You might say “Hey, George, I’d like to talk to you about the rent payments. Let me know when it’s a good time to have that discussion. "
Try to be careful to label the behavior and not judge your roommate. Since moodiness can sometimes have a very real and physical cause, it’s not fair to focus on the roommate being “wrong” or “bad. " Say something like “Hey, I’ve been noticing you’re in a bad mood a lot lately. Do you want to talk about it?” Discuss observations of the behavior instead of evaluations of the roommate. You might tell him or her that “You come off as rude to my guests” or “Your attitude makes the living environment tense. ”
Bring up the subject by saying something like “Hey, I’ve noticed you’ve been really stressed lately. I get stressed sometimes, too. How about we brainstorm some ways we can both manage or prevent stressful situations?” Work with your roommate to identify what causes the majority of his or her stress and offer to help with possible solutions. Your roommate may become moody around finals because he or she puts off studying. If this is the case, offer study tips or to help with better time management early in the term.
For example you may tell your roommate that he or she is getting upset by telling them you can see that their mind is “working a mile a minute” or another key phrase you agree on. This will trigger them to reflect on what is currently happening and take a break to perform self-care. Having a signal that is not obvious to those around you can be helpful to not call attention to your roommate’s moods outside of your room.
A lot of times, people have mood swings when they have a need that isn’t being addressed. [15] X Expert Source Allison Broennimann, PhDClinical Psychologist Expert Interview. 11 December 2020. Keep in mind, your goal is not to diagnose your roommate. You are simply trying to learn more about his or her behaviors so that you can have a better understanding.
If for some reason you are unable to resolve a particular issue, then you may want to consider consulting an outsider for advice and possibly a mediation. [16] X Expert Source Asa Don Brown, PhD, DNCCM, FAAETSClinical Psychologist Expert Interview. 22 August 2022. If the mood swings are something you have seen occur with other people as well, ask them for suggestions as to how they handled it. “So, you say Terry is moody around you every now and then, too, huh? What do you do when this happens?” Explore how many people in your roommate’s family have similar issues and see if there is a pattern as far as mental health issues running in the family.
You might show compassion by saying “I can see that your mood brings you down some days. It also causes tension between us. Have you thought about seeing a counselor or someone you can talk to professionally?” Volunteer to go to the doctor with your roommate for emotional support.
