Don’t rush to judgement, either of your child or the police officers who arrested them. You need to act quickly and go to where your child is being held, but you should find out more information about the situation before taking any actions beyond this.
The rules vary by state, and some states do require consultation with parents for questioning.
Well-meaning parents can hurt their child’s case by inadvertently waiving their rights, or agreeing to a search of their home unnecessarily. Even if you think your child has done something wrong, you shouldn’t make them talk to the police and confess to anything. The police may have a very weak case, and a criminal record can have a big impact on the rest of your child’s life. [2] X Research source
Teenagers are the most at risk of police interrogations, this is because the police will not take them seriously as they do with adults and the police can legally lie to them to get a confession. Teens are far more likely than adults to fall for police tricks and confess. Only two states (Illinois and Oregon) ban the police from lying to people under 18, but in all other states, the law permits the police to lie.
This could include a drug treatment programme, counselling, or something else. Criminal law tends to put these elements secondary to the punishment of the offender.
If your child has a learning disability or mental health problem, explain this carefully to the attorney. [3] X Research source The resolution to a case will take into account these factors. Even if you think it’s not relevant, give your attorney the information, and discuss how to proceed with her.
Be careful about how you approach the character reference requests. You will have to be honest and explain what you need them for. You will often be asked to submit school report cards to court in any case. Do not take it upon yourself to write to a judge about your child, or submit any documents directly. Always consult with your attorney and follow her advice on what is appropriate and what isn’t. [4] X Research source
Say something like, “This is a serious situation, and I need you to explain to me how we got here. " It’s important that they understand the seriousness of the situation. If your child finds it hard to talk to you about it, encourage them to talk to a trained counsellor. Sometimes people find it easier to explain their emotions and problems to a stranger. [5] X Research source
Explain that you will support them and help them to turn things around. Say something like, “You’ve messed up, but you can put it right and learn from the experience. " Reassure them that you still love them, but explain how them actions are hurting you. If they come to realise the impact of their actions on you, it might help them to change. [6] X Research source
All programmes will require active participation, and if they fail to attend they may be remanded in custody. Often the parent will be required to attend these programmes with her child, so it’s crucial that you work together to get through it. Try to think of it as a chance to correct mistakes before the consequences get too severe.
Make sure your child understands that they must request to speak to a lawyer before speaking to the police. They should understand that a police officer can act as if they have more information than they actually do; They must recognise that everything they says to the police can be used against them. Something that seems harmless at the time can look different in a court. As a rule, don’t talk to the police before speaking with a lawyer.
